


Gods and Monsters

by Saltwish



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eruriren Week, M/M, crazy shit, idfk okay, monster au, wyrms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltwish/pseuds/Saltwish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is crawling with monsters and even fighting strategically isn’t enough to save humanity. It takes blurring the line between human and monster to make any headway, but what is lost when the innocent are sacrificed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gods and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> More eruriren week work. This is a one-shot and most of it is a blatant cop-out to my love of monsters.

Monster tales weren’t supposed to come true, but sometimes they did anyways, and no one was ever prepared to face their nightmares in a situation more dangerous than screaming at a television screen. When they came, serpentine and vicious, poisonous in their bites and swarming in their cunning persistence, hundreds of thousands died before any countermeasures were discovered or used. War between human beings was a rambling, erratic affair compared to the brutality of the fight to survive erupting across the globe.

For the most part, humans lost. Eventually, small units fighting back, some headway was made. Progress was claimed on bloodstained ground too hard-gained and too easily lost, progress achieved by crawling through the bones of those who’d failed before; but progress nonetheless. Too many lives lost to learn the most basic facts about the creatures, such as the differences between them. Pawns were hive-minded swarms of small, stupid creatures that nonetheless were like flocks of flying piranhas, rending anything they fell upon into scraps and well-chewed bones. Rooks were territorial sentinels, stationed in look-outs to send electric signals to the pawns, call them to the aid of any of their number being attacked by a human threat. Knights were big, brutal fucks with mouths full of daggers and wings like razor blades, powerful enough to barrel through solid concrete if they had a good reason to. And Bishops, snipers from the skies, swooping in to grab anyone crossing an open space, carting them high in the sky to shred and drop to their deaths.

It had been Hanji that named them for chess pieces, hard-won information and research driving the idea that maybe, just maybe, there were queen and king pieces somewhere. And maybe, should they be eliminated, humanity could make enough of a dent to really fight back. It hadn’t been proven yet, but they had nothing else to go on. The plan was basic, and dangerous as hell; kill the strongest players, the rooks and bishops and knights, until the biggest and baddest were forced to come address the threat. It had already been shown that these creatures were intelligent enough to plan and communicate between themselves; it wasn’t much, but it was all they could go on.

After every fight, they had to hide, to curl up in a dark, buried space to wait until the swarms died down and the bigger, smarter creatures lumbered into the open again. This bunker was safe, as much as anything was anymore, and quiet, with the same disclaimer. Even buried under concrete and metal, the insidious scratches and rasps of claws echoed down faintly into the small space. To be honest, there was no completely safe place anywhere in the world anymore, and not much in the way of peace or quiet either. Even in the underground tunnels where what was left of humanity hid from their predators, the scratching still caught up, haunting echoes from the world above. Up here, so close to the surface, it was just a matter of how long it took to be caught.

They were a small force, like most strike teams were, because bigger hiding spots were less common and easier for the creatures to find. It was the little spaces, corners and tucked-away hollows, that offered the most shelter; cramming too many people into a little space was just begging to be found and eaten. This team was as big as they got, three people each with their own specialization, trained to work seamlessly together as all squads were.

Guarding the entrance together were two men, listening to the tiny variations in noise that signaled the difference between idle pacing and intent to dig inside. Both of them well-armored in snug, durable bodysuits and utility belts, armed to the teeth with specialized equipment; no soldier from the world that had once been would even recognize most of it. They exchanged weary, silent glances and brief hand signals. Verbal speech was too risky this close to the surface, and long-term exposure to sign language made it second nature; it was easy enough to confirm who would take what rotation while they waited for contact from the next team. The larger of them, blond and solid with the weight of a thousand lives in shrewd blue eyes, ‘spoke’ with calm, precise motions that never expended more energy than they needed to. Erwin Smith, the team leader, the commander of the resistance, a man forced to make educated guess for what might keep humanity alive a little longer, knowing each plan would end in casualties even in a best case scenario. The other man, slighter of figure with a dark undercut and bags under his eyes, used sharp slashing movements most of the time, emphatic and on the edge of irritation. Now, though, lean fingers were mild as they signaled an affirmative, as if it were too much effort to put that much energy into the messages.

Catching the edge of exhaustion on his second-in-command’s face, Erwin placed a hand on the armored curve of Levi’s shoulder. Grey eyes met blue, the hand moving to trace knowing and gentle fingertips across the smaller man’s cheekbone. Too worn down to smile, too grateful to ignore it, Levi exhaled slowly, silently from his nose, leaned his face into the gentle cradle of the other’s hand. Moments of tenderness were few and far between, thanks to the world they lived in. Even this much an indulgence, hard to pull away from but for the weight of too many familiar ghosts on their shoulders. Still, tapered fingertips lifted to tap feather-light thanks against the warm curve of Erwin’s lips before the slim figure pulled away.

Erwin returned to his listening, and Levi moved on careful, silent feet to the rear of their tiny, safe place to settle near their third squad member, deceptively quiet and still in his curl against the wall. They were supposed to rest in shifts, it was true, but long practice made it easy to see the difference between sleep and reclusive silence. Still no words allowed, but Levi eased down to the floor, reaching to tap questioning fingers against one bent knee. Blue-green eyes slid open, finally, meeting grey with the same broken-down misery they always did; a wrench in the older man’s stomach, as it always was. Eren Jaeger, their ace in the hole, a war-hardened teen with the highest regenerative rate of any Altered soldier in the corps, and a second, far more dangerous ability that had saved their lives time and time again. The price lingered, though, in the chunks of sanity lost for good. The silent screams of grief were always visible in those broken eyes as Eren stifled his voice to nothing for fear of giving them away; time and time again, when what he needed most was to let it loose.

Levi knew, as Erwin did, that Eren was the catalyst, the key to overcoming the near-extinction of humanity. If only that made it easier to accept when watching the boy they both loved beyond words shake himself to pieces. Easing his body to the ground, Levi lay down beside him and let his fingers speak, tracing careful little patterns over Eren’s side until the boy shifted forward, pressing close to cling tight. Each breath was a shudder, and without being asked Levi tilted his head, unzipping the snug, high neck of his suit to expose his throat. Immediately the warmth of Eren’s face was there, pressing tight against his pulse as soft, near-silent sobs were muffled against his skin. This was the only way Eren allowed himself to grieve, curled tightly to one of them, tiny noises of pain smothered by their bodies.

Arms wrapping tight around the taller, skinnier frame, Levi cradled him close and bit his lip near-bloody with the need to snap and snarl. He knew the world they lived in wasn’t fair; the very concept had died out before this fragile curl of spine and shaking breath in his arms had even been born. Even still, he never hated it quite so much as he did in moments like this, watching the fracture of such a precious life losing what held it together, piece by piece. They lived in a world of tight, controlled silence between bursts of rabid violence, and every word and cry that the teenager needed to vent was instead swallowed to eat him whole.

Cradling Eren as the tremors finally stopped, Levi ran soothing hands over his face and hair, holding him close. Two fingertips paused to tap a gentle, silent question against one of the boy’s temples, grey eyes seeking bloodshot teal as Eren pulled back. Wiping his face dry, the boy nodded slightly, choosing to look at Levi’s throat instead.

They’d been together long enough, all three of them, that the touches and gestures meant as much as words these days.

 _Can you hear them?_ Levi’s fingers had asked.

 _Yes_.

And a circular motion, a soothing motion of hands on Eren’s temples as Levi looked at him firmly. _Push them out, for now. Sleep._

A shudder, mouth tight, eyes haunted. _I can’t._ Shaky hands lifting to expand around him in a wide, rough sphere, before scrubbing over his own face. _Too much, too many. I can’t_.

A restrained sigh, before Levi curled closer around him, hands rubbing in soothing patterns over tense back and shoulder muscles. Tracing the place on Eren’s arm, under the suit, where he knew the bite scar rested, ironically almost exactly under the two bi-colored wings of their legion symbol.

The poison from the wyrms was intense, neurological in nature, and ate a person alive from the inside out within hours. Every bite that had been recorded resulted in hysteria, delusions, and a long and painful death; all but one. They’d run blood tests, trying to figure out what made Eren adapt and survive, but nothing had been proven yet except that his link to the creatures ravaging their world grew stronger with each dose of venom. It gave him more insight into what they wanted, and how they worked, but it dug more pieces out of his sanity every time. He didn’t say it, and neither Levi nor Erwin could bring themselves to ask, but they all understood; he would continue to allow himself to be bitten, and they would continue to watch as he fell apart trying to save the human race.

They hated it as fiercely as they loved him, and there wasn’t a damned thing any of them could do to make the situation better.

For now, all Levi could do was hold the boy close, tight enough to bruise, and press his mouth against the tight skin over Eren’s temples. _Focus on me_ , he wanted to say. _Push them out for just a little longer._ Wordless promises, kisses dropped carefully against Eren’s face and hair until they both dropped off in an uneasy doze.

Sometime later, Levi snapped awake at the gentle touch of Erwin’s hand. Nodding silently, he eased away from Eren, biting his lip at the near-soundless, sleeping noise of protest that parted the boy’s lips. Erwin was there, though, easing down into the space Levi had left, tucking their youngest member against his chest and humming the faintest of soothing noises in response. A risk, as always, but Levi’s watch read late enough at night that, perhaps, they could get away with a few careful, quiet words while the wyrms slept above them. Watching his two lovers, partners, most important people curl up in the dark corner of their bolt-hole, Levi tasted the words in his mouth, knelt briefly to mouth them into first blonde, then brown hair. He couldn’t risk them, even now, for only the selfish desire to speak his love out loud.

Erwin nuzzled back against him, Eren mercifully sleeping again as he buried his face against the blonde’s chest; nodding, Levi eased to his feet and took his place at the entrance, guarding for the sounds of intruders with eyes closed and ears primed.

The attack came just after dawn. Still no message received from Mike’s team, the air in the tiny space growing stagnant even with their specialized air filters placed at several points, and deceptive silence outside; not a scratch or a wingbeat to be heard.

If it wasn’t for Eren waking up with a jolt to fling himself out of Erwin’s arms and grab Levi away from the front of their shelter, the Corporal’s head would have been taken along with the huge chunk of stone and metal suddenly ripped away. The screech of claws against hard surfaces was agonizingly loud after so long in the dark and quiet, and Levi had to orient himself quickly, pushing Eren into Erwin’s grasp before leaping in the opposite direction; they knew each other’s patterns, trusted each other to be safe as they split away from the attack site. Erwin could carry Eren’s weight without losing any speed until the teen recovered from the mental blast of sensing the attacking wyrm.

Gaining a little distance, Levi skidded to a stop, activating the blade hilts already in his hands as he spun to get a good look at what he’d assumed was a knight-class that had somehow detected them through a means other than sound. He couldn’t have been more wrong. The wyrm was massive, easily forty feet tall, thick muscle roping along its back to support the massive spread of leathery wings. The arched, spined neck ended in a blunt head with venom-slick teeth protruding around the edge of its jaw, like tusks in some sick way. It should have been too big to fly, this twisted arrangement of legs and claws and teeth, but a moment later it turn to scream in the direction Erwin had gone, and those massive skin-canvas wings launched it into the air, like some kind of living nightmare as it flew after everything Levi cared about in the world.

He didn’t think, only threw himself forward, pushing his legs to run fast enough; a risky jump, the extra force generate by his boots still only just enough to get him on the edge of the thing’s sharply spined tail. Ionic gravity tech was the only thing keeping him on the thin-skinned vertebrae, but Levi threw himself forward anyways, uncaring of the thought that a misstep could leave him plummeting through the air. He was the fastest, the most lethal that humanity had to offer, and by fucking God he wasn’t going to let this thing get any closer to Erwin and Eren.

Erwin, meanwhile, had taken to the maze of torn rubble and jutting stonework that was all that remained of a major bridge; hoping to confuse the wyrm by getting out of its line of sight. Eren was still clinging to his back, face dripping sweat down the Commander’s neck as he rode out the aftershocks of his link-up with the creature behind him. It was worse than usual- considering what they were up against, that was understandable- but every moment the boy was incapacitated increased the chance for both of them to die.

The man Erwin had become, cold and calculating, knew that lives had to be sacrificed for the greater benefit. He’d made the decision often enough that his heart had gone numb; had spent years feeling nothing more than duty and furious determination to end this war at all costs. And then two men had cracked him open, left him painfully human again with the careful press of trusting hands and loving mouths. Erwin still understood acceptable losses, still all too aware of the liability that Eren was as he lay across his back; he was also painfully aware that he could not in any way write the green-eyed boy off as any form of acceptable loss, in this life or any other. If one of them still had to die, it could not be this bright-eyed child with the hope of their species on his shoulders; it could not be him, broken-hearted but still so strong, jaded but still so willing to love two scarred older men with nothing but war to give him in return. It could not be Levi, worn-down and weary with the sins of a lifetime staining hands he had trusted Erwin to guide, knowing even still that he was a flawed, imperfect leader.

It _could not be them_.

The rush of hot, acrid air as the wyrm roared down into the rubble was a grim reminder that there wasn’t any more time to think. Ducking to the side, Erwin activated the plate in his boots and ran up the side of a support beam at the last moment, feeling as much as hearing the harsh crash where clawed feet had crushed the ground behind him. They were running out of metal and the only place left to go was back down towards the wyrm, or forward onto a jutting ledge of fairly stable-looking concrete that clung to a bridge pillar still standing. It was only big enough for one, though.

Eren twitched strongly, a dizzy sort of moan being choked off as he woke up properly, and all Erwin could think as he reached the top of the metal spire was hope that he was aware enough to land properly. A moment later, with all the strength in his body, Erwin threw his charge forward, launching the slender body across the gap towards the safety of the ledge. Wide green eyes snapped open to meet his, an alarmed yell loud and startling when they usually were not permitted to use their voices. “Erwin! _Erwin, no!_ ”

But Eren had landed safely, his boots kicking on and keeping him on the stonework, and Erwin smiled, even as he unsheathed his blades, leaned back, and fell towards the monster rushing up at him.

The painful throbs of resonance were still pulsing inside of his skull, but Eren was completely awake, mouth open without his permission as he screamed. This was what he’d tried so hard to prevent, and the image burned itself into his retinas; Erwin’s strong, tall form, twisting in midair to slash at a maw already open too wide, too full of sharp venom-coated teeth to avoid. This massive, twisted beast had been waiting for so many years, unseen since some of the first cities fell, and now it was about to take one of the few precious things Eren had left. _No_. Even if he leapt forward right now, Eren was too far away, couldn’t reach them in time to make a difference.

_No, please, god-_

And then the wyrm screamed, writhing in the air as ion blades cut into its neck. Not deep enough to sever it yet, too thick with muscle and bone, but enough to knock its aim off and let Erwin drop past its face, cutting a deep, bloody pair of grooves down its broad chest as he went. Still running up the back of the wyrm’s neck, Levi didn’t hesitate, blades gouging deep into the back of the wyrm’s skull, trying to sever its brain stem before the thing started healing.

It should have worked. There shouldn’t be the sense of building panic in Eren’s chest as Erwin readied another charge from below and the wyrm screamed its pain into the stinging, smoky air of the aboveground; there was. The wyrm-resonance in the back of his skull throbbed dully, whispering death and destruction too keenly to ignore. Desperate, he lunged forward, following the support beam until he was close enough to leap for the flailing, sharp-clawed hind leg.

“ _Eren, stay back-!”_ Too late; he was airbourne, barely dodging the swipe of massive claws longer than his body to slam the soles of his boots onto flaking, pebbled skin. His blades were out a moment later, desperate leaps pushing him forward along the side of the creature, trying to get near the lungs in time. Dimly he registered that the wyrm had driven them higher in the air, the harsh wind of its beating wings making his footing unsteady, but he didn’t care, had to get there, had to stop it from calling them-

Too late. A mighty bellow rocked through the body he ran across, making even his specialized boots slip from their hold; a quickly embedded sword blade was all that kept him on the wyrm’s guts as it screamed to the heavens for help.

And for leagues around, resonating through Eren’s skull and the air around them, thousands of cries lifted in answer.

Still gouging deeply into torn, sizzling flesh, Levi reared back, covering his mouth with his arm as the fumes from the blood rose acrid around him. The roar took him by surprise, knocking him from his perch and leaving him to drag his boots and his blades down the column of the wyrm’s neck until he found purchase again. Adrenaline was pounding through his blood at the near-miss, awareness of the ground now far below them, but superseding all of that was dread as the air vibrated with wyrmcalls. The motherfucker had called for reinforcements, and this high in the air, there was no way for Levi get to shelter before they descended locust-like over the area.  Digging his blades in deeper, he grimaced, jaw clenched tight. _Well, I knew I’d die like this, but I’d hoped…_

“Levi-!” Eren’s voice made his head snap around, stomach knotting into cold agony. No, why was he up here, too? Erwin was supposed to keep him safe-! “Levi, we need to get down, they’re coming!” Christ, he spent most of the time wishing he could hear Eren’s voice more often, but not like this, never like this, frantic and scared and still _so fucking young_ -

Ripping one sword out of the putrid flesh he’d anchored to, Levi grabbed for Eren’s arm as the boy reached, teeth gritted together. “You need to get down! I’ll finish this thing off.”

Alarm rocketed through those beautiful blue-green eyes, fingers tightening on his arm. “NO! Fuck that, Levi, I’m not leaving you behind!”

Levi snarled, pulling away and hating himself for breaking the kid’s heart a little more. “You want to let this thing live instead?! It’s one of the leaders, Eren, what we’ve been fighting to draw out this whole time! That’s not less important than my life!”

“It is to me.” Desperate, he reached again, barely hanging on as the wyrm pivoted in the air. “Please, Levi, I can’t- you have to stay alive, _you have to-_ “ He knew he sounded like a child, knew they were soldiers and that Levi was right, but despair was clawing through his guts, shaking him hard enough to almost lose his grip. He’d lost so much, had only these two men to keep him sane and stable anymore; if he lost them, either of them, then what was the point of holding on anymore?

There was pity in those pale grey eyes, and regret, both of which burned to see as Levi slowly shook his head. “Eren, I’m sorry. Kiss Erwin goodbye for me.” And without another word, he reached and took a handful of Eren’s shirt, yanking him close enough to press desperate, hard lips against his own.

There wasn’t time to even register the kiss as more than warmth and the bite of too much pressure before Levi yanked him off of the wyrm’s body and flung him into open air.

Falling had never scared Eren before. They were trained to see the world in a different three-dimensional way, to be aware of the capabilities of their suits in making any solid surface something they could walk on. Gravity was a malleable concept and, if you knew how to use your equipment, a fall like this wasn’t enough to even hurt. But Eren couldn’t think now. Couldn’t move his fingers on the controls lining the inside of his gloves to alter his fall speed. Wide-eyed, he fell, staring upward at the small figure lashing away at the massive shape of the wyrm; sacrificing his life to take out this one, last monster.

The horizon was already growing blurry with the swarms of Pawn-class wyrms racing towards them. Moments at best until they got here, and Eren had barely a chance to find shelter before they did. Erwin, still down below, would have the best shot but only if he’d taken the action to hide without them. Eren didn’t think he would.

So here he was, the world slowing down as he dropped through the air. One precious person above, one below, both about to be lost to the twisted infestation they’d fought against for so long; both of them risking their lives over and over to save his own, to keep him alive when that was the opposite of what he wanted.

The resonance pounded in his head, crept down his arms and dragged hot, stinging claws down his spine. He fought it so hard, every day, never letting on just how deeply his connection to the wyrms had gotten. Never wanting to admit that he was more monster than human now, lest they hate him for it. But now, what was the point?

They were all dying. Humanity wouldn’t have anyone left to fight for them, and Eren would bear the guilt for it in whatever abyss his soul fell into after leaving this Hellish world.

_What’s the point? Is dying a human being worth more than them?_

The ground was rushing closer. The screams of the wyrm far above signaled that, at the very least, Levi had accomplished his goal. At this point, Eren would have to throw everything he had into the anti-fall gear just to survive the impact, but he couldn’t care about that. Realization was burning through him, faster than the speed of falling, faster than his heartbeats or the burn of wyrmcall in his ears and brain.

_If I have to be a monster to save them-_

The wyrms were almost there. They were going to shred them, Levi and Erwin, rip them apart and devour them entirely.

_-then I will be a monster._

Black flooded his vision. Numbness crept down his limbs, vertigo increasing as he lost awareness of ground versus sky; burning pain ripping down his back, burning in his spine, in his skull, at the ends of his limbs.

He screamed, and the sound that echoed was not human. Not even close.

 _Save them._ The overwhelming, skittering crawl of a thousand wyrm minds against his own, calling out for orders, crying for blood. He gripped tightly, sending out a roar of reprimand, too desperate to take note of the stunned silence as he pushed his mind against theirs for the first time.

_Don’t you fucking harm a hair on their heads._

_Save them._

_Save the humans. Save Erwin. Save Levi._

Light seared through his vision, colors brighter and more jarring in their neon hues. The air seethed with small forms, lit up from the inside with a spark of heat he could see without understanding why. The ground, still far below, vibrating with motion that seemed oddly… subdued.

Why wasn’t he falling- no, that didn’t matter. Where were Levi and Erwin? He looked, tried to wrap his head around what was happening; it was hard, with literal thousands of tiny minds crawling through his thoughts, nudging at him for… for what? _For orders_. That didn’t make sense, but-

But it didn’t matter, because Levi was being lowered to the ground and Erwin pushed forward, both of them surrounded by dozens of the lizard-like pawns nudging and bumping at their limbs but not opening their mouths, not biting, not clawing.

_How?_

A whisper of many voices, undulating as they overlapped. _Your orders. Don’t harm. Save. Save humans._

He didn’t know how he was doing it, and in the end, how didn’t matter. He just nodded, confirming with a low growl. _Yes, good. Continue._

Still up in the air somehow, held aloft by… himself, an awareness of limbs stretching out from either side of his spine, flexing and moving the muscles of his back and chest. He refused to name them, couldn’t acknowledge yet that he was that much of a monster; Eren could barely think clearly beyond burning concepts like _Erwin_ and _Levi_ and _safe, keep them safe_. It didn’t seem like the limbs needed his direct control, anyways, the thought of wanting to go down resulting in a shift in muscle movement, the rush of air sliding past until the ground slammed up under his feet, reverberating the shock up through his leg muscles but not hurting, no, it hadn’t hurt…

“Eren!”

His head snapped up, eyes widening- his face felt funny, too warm, too tight, and Levi was staring at him in shock and… something else. It was hard to read his face right now, the shift in Eren’s vision too heavy on heat and movement to be able to track expressions the right way. To his left, Erwin, big and beautifully whole as well, staring back at him with a speechless, mouth-open shock.

Well. He couldn’t blame them. He’d known the price of embracing the wyrm taint in his blood, and he couldn’t even begin to guess how disgusting he must look to them right now. It hurt in the worst way, grief stabbing through his lungs and gut, self-hatred roiling sickly with the furious determination that _it was worth it, they’re alive, anything would be worth it_. Their perfect, familiar shapes, bodies whole and human, were worth anything, including the twists of his own form.

 _In a cruel world, you can’t expect a happy ending_.

“I’m sorry.” The words hard to choke out through the difference in his tongue and his teeth, throat clenching on the flow of air; he had the feeling his body was better made for roaring out wordless screams of fury and death, like the skittering, grey-yellow creatures that were flocking around them. Hands shaking, heavy with the weight of claws at their tips, Eren swallowed and looked at the ground.

“You should… go back. Tell…. Hanji. You killed the…” What was the word? The skittering minds called her something like _denmother_. Her corpse had crashed down to the ground, never to move again; most of the swarms had moved to eat her, only a fraction still tumbling around his legs and feet. “The… ‘queen.’ You can go… go home. You’re safe. They won’t hurt you.” _I won’t hurt you_. He couldn’t bring himself to say that. Couldn’t ask for more than they’d already given him, over and over. They’d loved him, held him close when he became more and more a monster. This was the least he could do for them, but he couldn’t expect them to want him anymore. At least they still had each other. Human, whole. They’d be okay. And Eren…

He’d do whatever he could still, he supposed, to bring humanity back to life and exhume them from their underground hibernation.

`

Levi didn’t know what to think.

Hundreds of squirming bodies were pushing up against him in the most disgusting way, but none of the pawns were showing any aggression- wyrms, all of them, who he’d seen shred a grown man in less time than it took to breathe deeply. They’d wrapped around his body, stilled his arms on his fall downward, and before he’d understood why there was no pain, he’d been set carefully on the ground. Erwin, always so firm and commanding, was standing lost a few feet away, looking between the catlike rolling and bouncing of the small wyrms and…

Eren. Or what he’d become, and Levi honestly couldn’t wrap his mind around it just yet. He understood it, could connect the dots between how much venom the boy had let himself take in and these changes- the regenerative rate probably added to the problem. He understood how it happened, but still found himself staring blankly at the changed outline of the boy he loved.

He was the same, in a lot of ways, still tall and leggy, more muscle stretching his uniform now to compensate for the new… fucking wings on his back. They didn’t look diseased or shredded the way most wyrms did, colored in tones of brown and tan with a faintly dappled pattern, but they were so clearly inhuman and so incongruous as they arched scythe-like through the air. Stumbling back, Eren flexed the limbs on his back, settled them in a snug fold of bone and skin against the arch of his spine, and somehow it fit. Those pretty blue-green eyes were downcast, but Levi could still see the abnormal wideness of the iris, the odd shape to the pupils; pointed, top and bottom, catlike and eerie. His jaw seemed to hinge a little differently, thick fangs keeping him from talking very well- oh, but he’d still been clear enough. Apologizing, excluding himself as he carefully said ‘you can go home.’ As if they’d write him off as a sacrifice of war, just some kid turned into a monster; their green-eyed wyrm child, with tears in his eyes and pointed ears breaking through his hair and claws tipping his fingers. Their third, their partner, ashamed and trying to back away from them like they’re _ever going to leave him behind_.

Goddamn it. Gritting his teeth, Levi lunged, uncaring of the lizards he tripped over on the way. He didn’t care, honestly, didn’t care about one more twist in their story. They’d buried enough friends, bathed in acid in blood long enough that his hands would never wash clean (no matter how hard he tried). It didn’t matter anymore, because Eren was stiff and startled in his arms, a choked noise rumbling against his ear as he squeezed as hard as he could.

“You think it’s okay that you love us enough to do this, but that we won’t love you enough to stay with you after?” His voice cracked, angry to cover the knot in his throat. Eren fever-warm in his arms, and he smelled the same, home and skin and warmth with an after-scent of metal and blood. Levi held tighter, an arm locked around Eren’s waist and a hand digging into his hair. It didn’t matter if he left bruises, because it kept Eren close, hesitant hands coming up to dig into his back; the prick of claws making him shudder but not move away. “You think I’m going to let you walk away, you fucking brat?”

Erwin’s voice, gentle but cautious, dragged his attention back. “Levi…”

Nearly snarling now, he turned his head only enough to glare over his shoulder, vision blurry for no reason he’d be willing to name. “What? Erwin, you can’t tell me you don’t think the same thing!”

Honestly, Erwin wasn’t sure what he thought, not yet, but what mattered was that Eren was sentient and in control, and they were for the moment alive. Trying to keep it that way, he made a careful motion with his hands once Levi was looking at him, gesturing to the alarmed rustles of the Pawns around their feet. “They think you’re attacking him. I just want you to be careful. Eren…” Distressed blue-green eyes peered at him over Levi’s shoulder and Erwin felt it like a punch to the stomach. He wanted to stay neutral, keep the mantle of commander tight on his shoulders, but that resolve wouldn’t hold under the broken, pleading stares of his two most important people. He gave in, shoulders slumping under a ragged sigh. “Eren, it’s alright. We’ll figure it out, but if you have some control over these… things, you might want to reassure them that we’re not hurting you. I don’t think they understand.”

It didn’t make sense, the tight grip Levi still had on him, the forgiving softness in Erwin’s eyes as he looked at them both. Even as muddied as his thoughts were right now, he understood that he’d crossed the line between human and monster a little too permanently to be forgiven. But Levi was solid against him, fingers digging into his skin, his hair; it felt like an anchor, holding him steady against the battering waves of the wyrm’s mental demands and nudges. Groaning, Eren dropped his head onto one solid, muscular shoulder, breathing in deeply. It was getting harder to think coherently, to direct the writhing multitudes.

Instinct drove him still, visceral pulls in his guts that said protect, that said you’re going to collapse. He pushed his mind outward, blanketing the swarm with a sense of safe, of mate-family, trying to put some kind of imperative that Levi was not in any way a threat. He could barely tell if it worked, at this point, with the overlapping chitters and squalls and the labored rasp of his own breathing.

He was going to pass out, the corners of his vision blurry, knees weak. He had about enough strength to say one more thing, and as much as he wanted to tell Levi and Erwin he loved them, their safety came first. Besides, they knew. They always knew.

The last clear, coherent thought he had, he shoved outwards, driving it into the swarm around him. _Go. Go far away and don’t come back here_. They resisted, mewled at him in the interior of his mind, but he held those words paramount until the hive-mind of the swarm conceded.

Only then, with the awareness that the swarms were retreating, did Eren let himself sink into numb, blank darkness.

\---

He woke in a bed, sore and aching all over as he blinked at the dingy metal ceiling. The throbbing in his skull drowned out any conclusions he could draw about that, prompting him to groan and curl up in a tight ball. Hot, tight pain was spiking in through his temples, wrapping bands around his head and squeezing; the pain was bad enough that it took him long moments to even feel the soft touch of fingers carding through his hair, the sink of weight as someone sat on the edge of the bed.

Light speared into his eyes when he tried to open them, but he squinted through the pain long enough to figure out that he was in his own room, back at the base, and that Levi was pressed close against him.

“Wha-“ His voice a croak, Eren started coughing, which sent jolts of pain through his skull again. Broader hands slid over the back of his shoulders, warm and firm as they kneaded at the knots in his muscles. “Nngh. Erwin… Levi, I-“

“If you say ‘I’m sorry’ again, I might strangle you,” Levi interrupted, voice calm and level- almost too much so. Grey eyes were steady, though, as the man continued stroking Eren’s hair. “You’ve been asleep for about three days, and all we could get out of your dreams were apologies. I’m pretty tired of hearing them.”

Breath fluttered on the back of his neck before Erwin’s arm folded over his waist, a familiar hand running over Levi’s arm in silent communication; they exchanged glances over Eren’s head, and Levi subsided.

Still feeling incredibly guilty, Eren swallowed his next ‘sorry’ and asked instead, “How’d I get back here? I thought I…” Eyes widening, he jolted up from the bed, reeling once he made it to his knees on the mattress. Dizziness and pain pounded in his head, but he still felt frantically over his body, trying to find the hard edges of bone that had grown from his skin when he’d last been aware.

“Hey, easy.” Warm arms caught him close, taking his weight when he nearly collapsed. A kiss pressed to his temple, Erwin’s voice rumbling under his ear. “You’re back to normal. When you passed out, the changes reversed. From what Hanji’s said, it seems like your altered state can only be brought on for temporary periods of time.”

Well, that was… a relief. Still frightening, that he could push himself so far, but if his default state was still mostly human, then maybe… maybe he’d get to stay? Blearily, he curled against the bigger man and groaned softly at the pain in his body. _Wait_. “Hanji knows?”

Folding himself against Eren’s back, brow close enough to Erwin’s to nuzzle against- which he did, tiredly- Levi hummed. “They know. Did some bloodwork. Your venom percentage is up and your cells are a little unstable, but your genetics haven’t changed enough to worry about, according to Shitty Glasses at least. They want to test the fuck out of you when you feel better, though.” With a heaving sigh, he buried his face into the smooth skin of Eren’s neck, letting Erwin hold them both up. “I’m telling them you’re sick for days. God, these last few days sucked. You like scaring me, don’t you, brat?”

“Of course not… I’m just good at it.” Shifting- slowly, to avoid more jarring pains in his head- Eren turned over, settling his spine to the warm, solid breadth of Erwin’s front and pulling Levi to lay against his chest. They fit together, just right, breaths gently moving each other.  Loosely wrapping his arms over Levi’s shoulders, Eren curled between them both and heaved a sigh. “I’m sor-“

One grey eye snapped open to glare upwards. “ _What did I say._ ”

Carefully resuming the easy stroke of his fingers over Levi’s neck and the buzzed section of his undercut, Eren shook his head with a rueful smile. “Never mind.” He should be asking more questions, he knew, and he would. Even if his new abilities were temporary or hard to use, use them he would. One victory over a wyrm leader didn’t mean the war was over, and being able to temporarily command the swarms didn’t make them less of an enemy.

But right now, he was human enough to still lie between the two men he loved more than anything else, held close and tight; precious in return. His head still pounding, body exhausted, Eren accepted that the fight would go on, but another day, and let himself drift off again holding close to both of his lovers.

 


End file.
